She has no redeemable qualities.
On being a hater, the big man with 34 felonies, and the first world problems i face as my eras tour date approaches.
I am alive! I am writing! I am listening to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack as I finally sit down to write. let’s do this.
If only there were an app for me to keep up to date with Jeremy Renner news, such as his casting in Knives Out 3. What a shame.
for everyone not as chronically online as myself, Knives Out 3 (‘Wake up dead man: A Knives Out Mystery’ is the official title. I am not typing that out every time. It’s Knives Out 3 on this page. Deal with it) has been churning out casting announcements like there is no tomorrow. It is stacked. It is, for the most part, slaying. we have the Peoples Prince- Josh O'Connor and the star of one of my favourite underrated 2024 films, Cailee Spaeny. Andrew Scott will return as Moriarty. jokes, but in this economy- a Sherlock revival is to be expected. Alas, Andrew Scott was announced as one of the cast members alongside Glenn Close and Kerry Washington. A stacked cast. Daniel Craig will of course be returning as the film’s lead, one can only hope Hugh Grant will reprise his role as well. And of course, Jeremy Renner, of the ‘Jeremy Renner app’ fame, has joined the cast as well, despite the fact the previous film made a joke very much at his expense. I mean, who am I to judge? If Rian Johnson made fun of me and then came to me 2 years later with a fat cheque, I would not be turning him away. more casting announcements are expected, and by the time you are reading this post, they probably already have been. There is only one thing for certain, if they want me to sit in that cinema on release day, Paul Mescal better have a role.
I actively encourage you to hate me more.
a brief one that I will definitely extend on at some point. But I've realised how much of a hater I am, and I feel insanely guilty, but not for being a hater. I feel bad that more people don’t hate me. like, does everyone think I’m really nice and sweet when really I am usually actively trying to explode at least one person I know with my mind? if everyone knew how much of a hater I was, would they rightfully think I’m a bitch? who knows.
The fall guy made me *fall* in love with stunt coordination.
okay, that’s a bit of a lie. but it was an amazing film and I cannot wait to watch it again ASAP. blockbuster comedies need to come back ASAP. ryan gosling reminds me how much I wait for the days of a “The Nice Guys” sequel. out of all the famous Ryans, gosling is the one who deserves an outstanding comedy career. his performances as colt stevers, the stunt man who is thrust into a crazy murder plot, is just so fucking enjoyable. he rocks long hair for a moment, he wears crazy clothes to disguise himself as Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor Johnson, as impressive as ever). he is in love with Emily Blunt (more on her in a second). he listens to all too well (10-minute version) in his car. he has a sidekick… who’s a dog! like, how is this not this year's Barbie”. the film is meta, with lots of jokes about the film itself. emily blunt sings Karaoke at one point, which reminds me of the fact she played the baker’s wife in Into the Woods. whilst she sings, Ryan Gosling is fighting with a guy, on a lorry, driving through Sydney, with the dog. a masterpiece. hannah Waddingham is gloriously playing a villain, very much channelling her inner Rebecca-in-season-one-of-ted-lasso. whether you catch this in the cinema, or when it comes on streaming, I insist you watch it. at best, you love it as much as I do, at worst, you have a silly comedy to watch. It also has some very funny cameos. ok, I’m done now.
I hope she plays [insert any evermore song here].
it is eras tour week!!!! at least for me, it is. my outfit is sat in a bag, waiting for its trip up to the homelands (Scotland). I am stressed beyond belief about the whole thing. what if my makeup sweats off? what if it rains? what if she plays a surprise song that I don’t really know the words to but everyone else does, so I can’t even hear Taylor sing it, and the whole moment is ruined? there is so much hype online about the show that I have lost all sense of rational thought. I went to a concert meer days ago where I had none of this panic. why should this be any different? I mean, of course it’s different to any other concert for a multitude of reasons, but you get me.
I am not a clean girl, I am not a cool girl. I am in fact another, different, third thing. an actual mess
It’s Number 9.
Every Wednesday night at 10, I open my laptop, pop BBC iPlayer on, flick over to BBC 2, and wait for my whole life to change. Inside No. 9 is one of my all-time favourite shows. in terms of anthology, it beats shows like black mirror out of the park. always coming in at 30 minutes an episode. Always having a unique premise. always having a twist and a turn that isn’t quite what you expected. Always shocking, scaring and amazing its viewers after 9 seasons. it’s the stuff of legends. I couldn't recommend it more if I tried. its final season has been as amazing as its predecessors, but nothing has compared so far to this week’s episode, ‘ctrl, alt, esc’. The episode follows a family in an escape room. That’s basically it. the whole thing. only it’s not. it’s so much more. the twist of the episode puts you in an odd situation, desperate to rewatch it immediately, pick up all the easter eggs Steve Pemberton and Reece Sheersmith have laid out for you, and understand everything that now clearly has a deeper meaning. only, the twist is also gut-wrenching. it makes it hard for you to want to watch anything again. its exisential. it’s terrifying. it made me have a bit of an anxiety attack lowkey. but, if you are not already a fan of the show, you most certainly will be after this episode. I beg you all to watch it. it’s my homework for you all for the week. trust me on this, you won’t regret it.
trump is a felon, the general election is really happening, it’s pride and everyone is still homophobic. you aren’t really reading this to get your news, are you? please say you aren’t. stop reading this now! go get your news somewhere else, this newsletter is over! Go!
